Lime Jester Gifts

"I know your rations include two limes a day, but please don't do that with them."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

Dog fetching clown shoes.

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

Bad Interview Technique

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

'Are you seeing anybody?'

"He may only be three years old, but he has 21 years of tech experience."

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

'...and to you, he has left his leprosy.'

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

'Okay! Who changed my screensaver?'

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

'I'm not surprised - she's NEVER been on time yet!'

Trump the Jester

An angel spinning the Vitruvian Man

Now that you're awake, pack up your stuff. -Your former boss.

"It's terminal? Brill, I was worried my YouTube channel was loosing it edge."

"Oh, nuts – I forgot why I came out here."