Lime Jester Mugs

"I know your rations include two limes a day, but please don't do that with them."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

Dog fetching clown shoes.

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

Bad Interview Technique

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

'Are you seeing anybody?'

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

"He may only be three years old, but he has 21 years of tech experience."

'...and to you, he has left his leprosy.'

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

'Okay! Who changed my screensaver?'

'Is he taking the piss?'

'...I mean on the one hand you have a set of avaricious money and status obsessed paper shuffler...'

'I'm not surprised - she's NEVER been on time yet!'

"It's terminal? Brill, I was worried my YouTube channel was loosing it edge."

Trump the Jester

Now that you're awake, pack up your stuff. -Your former boss.

An angel spinning the Vitruvian Man

"Oh, nuts – I forgot why I came out here."