Lighthearted Theologist Pillows

Would you Adam and Eve it?

At the 2021 Religious Games

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

Hot cross buns

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"Sucker!" / "Stirrer!"

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

'I had multiple personalities.'

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"Oh, I don't mind being called 'Reaper', it's the 'Grim' part that gets me...my name is actually Darryl and I'm a pretty happy guy!"

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

Jesus the comedian.

"Life's too short to be taken seriously..."

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

If there are eclipses of the sun and eclipses of the moon, how come there are never any eclipses of the earth? Can we continue this tomorrow? It's getting dark.

Jesus Fish

The trouble with the speed of light is it gets here too early in the morning.

"John, how are you gonna Baptize me when you throw like a girl?"

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Adan and Eve.

I think you've eaten enough fireflies, Ed.

I don't let my conscience be my guide, I consider it more of a wingman.