Lighthearted Moralist Pillows

Lost and Found

PSA Banter.

At the 2021 Religious Games

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

Daffodil bulbs

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"Let's take in a trial."

"Sucker!" / "Stirrer!"

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

Surreal Ale Pub.

'Vacuums!'

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

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Religious toilets.

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

'I had multiple personalities.'

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

'Frankly, I don't remember why I called this meeting.'

The Invention of the Tea Light

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade

"Oh, I don't mind being called 'Reaper', it's the 'Grim' part that gets me...my name is actually Darryl and I'm a pretty happy guy!"

The World Ends Today!: 'Never mind, dear- better luck tomorrow!'

Jesus the comedian.

Wheels for all purposes.

'Don't feel too badly about your post, I used to work for the News of the World.'

"Dude, don't say it..."