Lighthearted Legalist Pillows

"Let's take in a trial."

At the 2021 Religious Games

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

"Sucker!" / "Stirrer!"

Clive Anderson

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

'I think its being tapped.'

'I had multiple personalities.'

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."

"Oh, I don't mind being called 'Reaper', it's the 'Grim' part that gets me...my name is actually Darryl and I'm a pretty happy guy!"

"I'm not quite ready to order. My lawyers are still studying the menu."

'After living together for ten years, we now realize that the only thing we have in common, is common law.'

Computer questionning a witness.

"Innocent, your honor."

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

'Have you referred to my previous boss?' - 'Yes, he wants to know when you are going to return the coffee money.'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Adan and Eve.

'Are you on HRT?'

Barristers playing children's games during the long vacation

'May I see some photo ID?'

'Okay - who leaked?'

In God we t...