Lighthearted Legalist T-Shirts

"Let's take in a trial."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

At the 2021 Religious Games

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

"Sucker!" / "Stirrer!"

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

'I think its being tapped.'

Clive Anderson

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

'I had multiple personalities.'

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."

"Oh, I don't mind being called 'Reaper', it's the 'Grim' part that gets me...my name is actually Darryl and I'm a pretty happy guy!"

"I'm not quite ready to order. My lawyers are still studying the menu."

'After living together for ten years, we now realize that the only thing we have in common, is common law.'

Computer questionning a witness.

If there are eclipses of the sun and eclipses of the moon, how come there are never any eclipses of the earth? Can we continue this tomorrow? It's getting dark.

'Have you referred to my previous boss?' - 'Yes, he wants to know when you are going to return the coffee money.'

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

"Innocent, your honor."

'The Not so Great Escape.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Adan and Eve.

'Are you on HRT?'

I think you've eaten enough fireflies, Ed.

I don't let my conscience be my guide, I consider it more of a wingman.

Barristers playing children's games during the long vacation

In God we t...

'Okay - who leaked?'

'May I see some photo ID?'