Lighthearted Learner Gifts

"Could you supersize these grades, Ms. Bain?"

"I thought I had a crush on you - but after today's class I realise..."

A dog wearing an L plate around his neck chases and barks at a learner driver.

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

At the 2021 Religious Games

Laughing Zone Ahead

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"I'm still pre-literate."

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

'I did it all from memory.'

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

Education and Apprenticeships

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'To better prepare you for the future, I've replaced the letters in your alphabet soup with Chinese ones.'

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

Husband and Child in Pram

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

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"Dude, I've never seen you so happy about a 'B' before."

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

'I had multiple personalities.'

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

The college of my choice.

'Um...Excuuuse me?! Apparently you've forgotten the household peacekeeping policy.'

The Invention of the Tea Light

"By the time I count to 10, you'd better be doing your math homework!"

"Oh, I don't mind being called 'Reaper', it's the 'Grim' part that gets me...my name is actually Darryl and I'm a pretty happy guy!"

'Good news, folks - no attack today!'

'Tell dad he did a lousy paint job.'

Carpet cleaning

If there are eclipses of the sun and eclipses of the moon, how come there are never any eclipses of the earth? Can we continue this tomorrow? It's getting dark.