Lighthearted Laughers Pillows

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

Daffodil bulbs

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

Man on desert island using elastic to shoot him off the island.

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

Pie chart of pub conversations

'Vacuums!'

Surreal Ale Pub.

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

'Henceforth, nurse Blum will be the nurse to take your blood pressure.'

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

Yeti/Not Yeti

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

Carpet cleaning

Devils in hell bang on the ceiling as the angels upstairs are being too noisy.

"Dude, don't say it..."

"I've forgotten your face but I remember your mask."

I was bitten by a radioactive bedbug – My superpower is getting a solid eight hours of sleep every night. Wow. So lucky.

Sticker: 'How's my driving you nuts?'

'Rapunzel's migraines completely vanished since she started dating Ted from the airport.'

'Let me put it this way...don't start watching any miniseries on TV.'

"Damn kids and their graffiti."

"Winning isn't everything - it's the only thing!"

Great gift ideas for the older man.

Mind lost by a mother.

'It was a gift from AARP.'

"Dinner's almost ready, you better not have eaten anything on the way home!"

Everything was fine until Becky's little sister decided to skip double.

'Question number one: Does your wife ask you questions from women's magazines?'

Daybreak at bulb camp

When I went in they were discussing Tina Turner.