Lighthearted Laughers Pillows

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Daffodil bulbs

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

Man on desert island using elastic to shoot him off the island.

Pie chart of pub conversations

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

'Vacuums!'

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

Surreal Ale Pub.

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

'Henceforth, nurse Blum will be the nurse to take your blood pressure.'

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

Yeti/Not Yeti

Carpet cleaning

"I've forgotten your face but I remember your mask."

Sticker: 'How's my driving you nuts?'

"Dude, don't say it..."

Devils in hell bang on the ceiling as the angels upstairs are being too noisy.

'Rapunzel's migraines completely vanished since she started dating Ted from the airport.'

'Let me put it this way...don't start watching any miniseries on TV.'

"Damn kids and their graffiti."

"He can't be very good, look at his face."

"Dinner's almost ready, you better not have eaten anything on the way home!"

'It was the menu in this pub that drove me to drink...'

'It's just a bit of pond weed tied to my bottom but it makes me feel so much younger!'

'Listen, be fair, George - it's your TURN to take Mrs McCarthy for her lesson.'

Great gift ideas for the older man.

'It was a gift from AARP.'

Daybreak at bulb camp

Everything was fine until Becky's little sister decided to skip double.