Lighthearted Discipline Gifts

Kid to kid: 'I had my sentence reduced to a couple of hours in my room.'

Push for Disco...

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

Going Down?

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"Let's take in a trial."

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

"I'd like my son seated in the first row."

Husband and Child in Pram

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

'Um...Excuuuse me?! Apparently you've forgotten the household peacekeeping policy.'

'My teacher has a good memory. She remembers what a rotten kid you were.'

"It's face painting Friday."

'Tell dad he did a lousy paint job.'

"I'm afraid I'm kind of a klutz."

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

Transporting helium balloons in mid air.

"How do I keep my kids in line? I threaten to rent out the space under their beds to monsters."

Doctor using a crystal ball to diagnose patient,

"We tell our kids to drink, smoke, dabble in recreational drugs and get a tattoo. Because they always do exactly the opposite of what we say."

"You just wait until your father gets home and adjusts your algorithm!"

"...And to those who have been naughty he doesn't bring any coal, just presents."

"Could you supersize these grades, Ms. Bain?"

'A-D-D...are these your grades or your diagnosis?'

'Are my blood test results in yet?'

This house needs rules! ...so if you think of any you want to live by, just let us know.

Greetings cards

'You just wait until your father gets home.'

"Well it's not a spider wriggling and tiggling inside you."

Child watering the flowers (urinating).

'Your wife got the house and the puppies.. but I managed to get you all the buried bones.'