Light-hearted Debater Pillows

Golfers

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"If atheists don't repent, you'll burn in hell!"

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

PSA Banter.

'Do you think that's wise?'

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

"Sucker!" / "Stirrer!"

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

Prisoner speech

Children Demand Parental Term Limits.

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

"If thinking about sin is as bad as committing it, why not go ahead and commit it?"

"I can't decide if that was bad in a good way, good in a good way, good in a bad way, or bad in a bad way."

I have a confession. Sometimes I doubt that God is really a giant chicken. Eggnostics.

The controversy of ROW VS WAIT: 'Row, to find fish!'

'Well, now, let's just shine the light of common sense and linear thinking on this little computer problem of yours, shall we?' 'I'm not THAT desperate yet.'

"You haven't had sex since 1959? You shouldn't complain - it's only ten past eight now..."

"The world needs revolutionaries...people who challenge the system, who question authority, who aren't afraid to say, 'I won't take anymore!'"

As usual, the obvious precedent for this case is The Children v. Mommy. The Supreme Court, Juvenile Division.

"I disagree. I think we're ninety percent breeding and ten percent grooming."

'I'm not a wine snob. You're a wine ignoramus.'

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'Your brother sure ha some kind of weirdo creepy imagination.'

'So you're the boy who wants to be a chugger.'

"Why not use thoughts and prayers to stop abortions? That's what you've been using to stop school shootings."

"What are we protesting about?"

"Oh, yeah! Well my dad says St. Joe is too the patron saint of coffee!"

"My grandmother died last night even though I prayed for her..." "...I guess I should brace myself for a sarcastic comment about faith."

'It's always the same...Terry and Mike have a few drinks and then they start to kick off.'

"It's the Dr. Sadie advice hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking nothing but Christmas-related calls."

"When I grow up, I'll still be religious."

Beer is made by men, wine by god.