Light Guardians Gifts

Street lighting cutbacks.

The Jeopardy of Progress

"He likes it."

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

"It's trickle down."

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

Juniors Baby Sitting Service.

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

'... I couldn't remember if I had switched off the light!'

'Sleep tight - don't let the bedbugs bite!'

Forest Management

Save the tree.

"Harold died happy knowing he gained a certain immortality through social media."

Deer Crossing.

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

"It's your turn, kid."

If you go out in the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise.

"If the stock market goes to infinity, would we be able to pay off the national debt?"

'Isn't it great Darling: The kids are now old enough to have dinner ready when we get home...'

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

"We leave for a thousand years and they trash the place."

Son et lumiere - "Just checking..."

"Apologies, sir. The mansion is haunted by Randy, the master's late spaniel."

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

"I'd never have imagined such innovative ways of wearing this cape!"

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."

Frogs jump out of boiling water, but linger in gradually heated water.

'You couldn't just lock him up somewhere, could you?'

'I just can't believe that Humans could have evolved from us...'

"Er...Eric..."

Three juniors want to join our eco club. Good recruiting! No way I'm letting them in! What?! Be we need new members! Not necessarily! Gore lies. Global warming is hot air! I (heart) fur.

'The kids just get so upset when a pet dies, so we decided to get one of these tortoises that live to be 150.'