Lifestyle Humor T-Shirts

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

Death Styles of the Rich and Famous

"We're planning on sending him away to be reared by experts."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Goodnight Social Media.

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

Late Bloomers

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

"Well your results would be normal if you were a 108 and smoked a 60 a day!"

Renaissance Zone

'Don't be tempted, Mrs. Root, just mail those apple fritters right here to me!'

"Brad, if you can't say 'I love you' without using finger quotes, I'm outta here."

T-Shirts. Just do it. Just watch it.

"Yes, dear, we're caught in a cycle...but you can hardly call it a vicious cycle."

"A lifetime of illicit substance abuse, chain-smoking, excessive alcohol consumption and eating nothing but crap . . . and you have the nerve to tell me I'm dying of 'natural causes!'"

"In my day we had trimphones."

'This is a magnificent restaurant. Which fork should I use to comb my hair?'

"I thought we agreed no midnight snacks?"

'Sure I eat three desserts but each trip I put only one dessert on my plate. That way I walk off the calories.'

"I love bonfires. Thanks to all the junk mail I get, I have one everyday."

Lager drinker and a vegetarian eating together.

"Great spot, Al. I didn't know there was anyplace left that permitted cigar smoking naked."

'That's the thing when you start living with someone - you discover all of their little habits.'

'It's a costume play - the men are wearing ties!'

'Dear, it's better to light a candle than curse the nation's crumbling electrical grid.'

'I've lost the will to die.'

'He used the treadmill, once.'

Nathan is a strict vegetatetarian.