Life Saver Aficionado Gifts

"Does anyone know CPR?"

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

'You know, our health plan doesn't cover dental.'

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

"I hear a pet can help prolong your life. Got any that know the Heimlich maneuver?"

No, Hal, I don't have a picture of you in my wallet, but much better than that...you're my screen-saver at work!

"Well done Carson! This could be the answer to our bed shortage problems!"

Fearing insurance rate increases if he had another accident claim, Dave tries a new harness system.

"I can't sue my insurance company because it was an act of god? Well, then, can I sue my church?"

"Try getting life insurance when scientists are always supplying you with tobacco."

"The one time it's good to go with the flow."

"These NHS types are ALWAYS complaining about SOMETHING!"

'Correct. And in the case of a cardiac arrest, every second counts. Who can tell me why? Anyone? Clock's ticking.'

Waiter - 'You can get personal insurance with the fish.'

"How much to insure my artifical leg?"

Gasoline is the devil and it's treading on the world.

Low oil prices.

"To save power, my dad goes into sleep mode. But, unlike a computer, he doesn't instantaneously awake and resume working."

Double life.

"Actually, what doesn't kill you just raises the cost of everyone's insurance"

'Can I interest you in insuring against your insurance not paying out?'

A doctor in her kitchen agonizes over the ethics of pulling the plug on her ailing toaster.

Thank You...For Everything You Do.

"Incoming!!"

Dentist asks lion if he's considered health insurance.

"We decided to hold off with kids until they heave health insurance."

"If your insurance doesn't cover it, there's always the lottery."

"Would you like to add one of our new health insurance policies to take care of any complications from eating here?"

"If you name the company as beneficiary, I can get you a discount on your insurance."

TV versus Books

I had a career in theatre, and television but I quit because I couldn't suppress my passion for insurance sales