Life's Ironies Collector Gifts

RIP Dr. Tom Kent: In my absence contact Dr. G. Hall

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

Tsunami Evac Route

"Ambitions... to fly away to a tropical paradise."

"I've been window-shopping..."

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'I am a bit concerned about what you meant when you said: LET'S DO LUNCH...'

A signaller directing pallbearers

Aggression Therapy Seminar

'Amazing! I thought they were more or less extinct!'

"Well, I have bad news for you, too."

'You have a file cabinet full of recipes you're printed off. The only way 99% of them will ever make it into our stomachs is if we the printer paper.'

A woman collecting mushrooms rests under a mushroom.

Climate-Conscious Cartoonists Work Without Paper!

'You seem to be suffering a reaction to the amount of medication you're taking. I'll see what I can prescribe for that!'

Tattoo Repo Men

'As you can see, the place has a certain Cold War Era charm.'

'Life is ruining your health.'

'If you're such a great artist how come I can't buy any of your stuff on a mug?'

'Before you get any ideas, you're not in my will.'

'Sure it's an impressive collection. Too bad they're all overdue library books.'

'He really wanted to be cremated. . .'

"This boat is aptly named."

'Ya know, my mom always said, 'you can catch more flies with hones than with vinegar'!'

'I had a job once, sir, but I succumbed to sleep deprivation.'

"Cheer up, mate, it might never...oh, God!"

Wedding cake with bride and groom being separated by a knife.

'Tell you what - you've really caught the sun to-day.'

"Hey - make sure the mask covers his nose."