Life Planners Pillows

"Face it - there is no good time to get married, have children, and move to Jersey."

"Wait, it's Thursday? I thought it was Tuesday! The first day of the rest of my life was supposed to be Wednesday!!"

Listen, just focus on making it to the sea – You can worry about what you'll do with the rest of your life later.

"Life’s become pretty easy lately. Perhaps it’s time we shake things up by adding a dependent."

"Great, now we're lost."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

"We only got six days of funding."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

Pipe Dream.

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"Three more years of high school."

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"Excuse me, but for some reason you have us traveling with our kids."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

When Engineers Crack.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

"I'm getting so old I don't remember where I buried my bone..."

Grounded

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'