Family Planner Pillows

"It's a baby. Federal regulations prohibit our mentioning its race, age, or gender."

"I didn't want to be a burden to my family, but I've changed my mind."

'We'll fill in the blank after we hear what you have in mind for our summer vacation.'

'We've never had an accident - aside from three of our five kids.'

"So you're having trouble conceiving. Have you tried sex?"

'We need nappies for you and nappies for me.'

"Keep my fingers crossed! Is that it?"

"I was under the impression that the sex we were having was recreational!"

We are looking for a bigger place to accommodate our extended family

'I was going to ask my parents for a baby brother but I sure won't now.'

"Quentin - I'm having a baby." "I'm just having a buttered roll."

"Sometimes I wonder if it's right to bring a child into this income."

Planned Parenthood: 'What do you mean, you want an unexpected pregnancy leave?'

Billboard / Sue wil you marry me? -Bob / And what about grandkids? - Bob's Mom.

'You get paid for what you produce at work not what you produce at home.'

"Pregnant again? I thought we were supposed to be wise!!"

IVF assessment centre.

MD to pregnant woman: 'You don't become immune after one child.'

Preventive medicine.

"Everyone's waiting to have babies, so I had to pick up a side gig."

Baby gift

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

Children.

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"So, you want to go on the pill?"

"Listen, are you absolutely sure you want to have kids?"

'Normally I'd be strongly opposed to a womanh your age electing a permanent birth control option...but in your case-'

"Not another gooseberry bush!"

'It's not that I don't want more kids Victoria, I'm worried I won't have enough skin for their names.'

'I wanted to hear the pita pata of tiny feet so he bought me a hamster.'

Expectant wife

"This is boring. Let's have children."

'I can't afford a vasectomy, Doctor! I have ten kids to feed.'

"I'm not sure about children, but I've always wanted progeny."