Family Planners Pillows

"Uh, I'm not ready to have a family"

"We put you through day-care. You're on your own now."

Warm Hearts Adoption Agency: Humans and Highways.

"They're expecting their first baby by surrogate mother!"

"Which of these summer camps would you like to be shipped off to?"

Mr. Spock at a child rearing seminar.

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'The ideal number of children per family is two.'

'In vitro fertilization and sperm banks. I remember the old days when you couldn't outsource having kids.'

"Good news, hon. They defunded Planned Parenthood."

Grounded

Anti-natal clinic - If you don't want to be pregnant.

'Herbie is my substantial penalty for LATE withdrawal.'

'We haven't decided on a name yet, but we were thinking 'Rhythm Method' might be wryly appropriate.'

'We were so busy debating childcare options...we didn't find the time to have a baby.'

'If elected, I promise more holidays that aren't school holidays!'

"I changed my mind – no more kids."

'We've decided not to have children.'

'Of course if you wanna a really BIG family I guess we could always adopt.'

"The kids are older; they're sleeping through, life's getting easier. We should probably have another baby so we still have an excuse for being a hot mess."

Not more bills!

'A baby brother? — I'm not ready to make a commitment like that!'

'I was so busy all my life delivering babies that I forgot to have some of my own...'

"I blame the parents."

The baby carrying stork is warded off by scarecrows.

'We can now offer you a free range egg option.'

"It was great seeing you – we'll have to have you two over once the kids have grown up and left for college."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"Excuse me, but for some reason you have us traveling with our kids."

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."