Life Painting Gifts

"Relax, I'm a professional. I went to school for this."

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

The Art Student.

You're my Mona Lisa.

Jack of all trades

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

The Artist

Paul Klee

Face painting.

The DaVinci Code

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'I'm in my Blue period.'

"I think he was a celebrity."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

Painting clouds

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

A caveman paints from life

(Camel paintings)

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"I don't think I can express what I have to say in just colored paper and glue."

Horti-Culture

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."