Life Musings T-Shirts

"Life is like a bowl of cherries. Hard plastic on the inside. Cheese spread on the top."

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

'True, I'm nearing the end, but at least, there's rarely a dull moment.'

"Just think of all the cigarettes I could have smoked."

Mental baggage, a brain with a handle for easy carrying.

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

"Blasphemy, yes, but it was funny."

'It's true that I never fulfilled my early promise of greatness, but I DID manage to catch a lot of really outstanding TV!'

'Do you ever wish the Big Bang would have been just a little bigger?'

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

'An they have the nerve to call this heaven!'

"It might be a while, the server just crashed again."

'Well, you're not a hypochondriac, you only THINK you're a hypochondriac!'

"Welcome to Vanity Workshop. For the next thousand years you're to read out the size labels you've removed from your clothing."

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

"Fountain of youth? No, I'm searching for a cure for natural causes."

'Assuming moral absolutes - good dog.'

Looking back, I should have said yes when Sophia Loren asked me to elope. Eventually, even hindsight isn't 20/20.

Paradise: Collection of wine

'Born again bees

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

The only time you are actually too old to follow your dreams.

"I guess they really are permanent."

'If there is an unlimited supply of something....mortality is that it make our time finite....I think I'll poop on this guy's head.'

"So using all those brown coffee filters literally bought me nothing?"

"Look kid, you can't blame everything you do on me."

Sidney comes to the end of life's motorway

'Nobody believes a word I say!' 'Oh, come now!'

"The hair on my back - will it go back to my head?"

CCTV security on heaven's doors.

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"