Life Musings Pillows

"Life is like a bowl of cherries. Hard plastic on the inside. Cheese spread on the top."

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

'True, I'm nearing the end, but at least, there's rarely a dull moment.'

Mental baggage, a brain with a handle for easy carrying.

'It's true that I never fulfilled my early promise of greatness, but I DID manage to catch a lot of really outstanding TV!'

"Blasphemy, yes, but it was funny."

'Do you ever wish the Big Bang would have been just a little bigger?'

'An they have the nerve to call this heaven!'

"It might be a while, the server just crashed again."

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

Paradise: Collection of wine

"Fountain of youth? No, I'm searching for a cure for natural causes."

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

'Well, you're not a hypochondriac, you only THINK you're a hypochondriac!'

'Assuming moral absolutes - good dog.'

"Welcome to Vanity Workshop. For the next thousand years you're to read out the size labels you've removed from your clothing."

The only time you are actually too old to follow your dreams.

'Born again bees

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"

'If there is an unlimited supply of something....mortality is that it make our time finite....I think I'll poop on this guy's head.'

'Nobody believes a word I say!' 'Oh, come now!'

"So using all those brown coffee filters literally bought me nothing?"

Sidney comes to the end of life's motorway

"I guess they really are permanent."

Heaven is...

CCTV security on heaven's doors.

"Look kid, you can't blame everything you do on me."