Life Lesson Advocates Gifts

'My parents are trying to wean me off instant gratification.'

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"I learned one thing today. Attitude trumps aptitude!"

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

"Failure is definitely the best teacher, but I'm thinking auditing a class with Success might not hurt."

"Do you know the biggest thing I've learned in my thirty nine years?"

"In this life son, if you want something, you have to hunt for it."

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

"Baldo, credit cards are a terrible idea! Take it from someone who has 10 of 'em."

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

University of Hard Knocks

Moral Values for Dummies

'What did you learn at university today?'

"We all make mistakes. That's why pencils have erasers!"

Be prepared - Don't jump to confusion.

'Remember, Junior, if at first you don't succeed...come up with a good exit strategy.'

Smart people learn from experience - other peoples'.

"Does school really help people with real life?"

'False alarm! I'm back. It was only a career suicide.'

'So, just how long were you at the School of Hard Knocks?'

People with anything valuable to say rarely become orators.

He who hesitates is five miles past his exit.

"What is this telling us? Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic."

"Don't think of it as being grounded. Think of it as suffering the consequences of your monumental stupidity."