Life Lesson Aficionados Gifts

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"I learned one thing today. Attitude trumps aptitude!"

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

"Our little girl has blossomed into quite the little complainer."

"In this life son, if you want something, you have to hunt for it."

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

"Baldo, credit cards are a terrible idea! Take it from someone who has 10 of 'em."

"Failure is definitely the best teacher, but I'm thinking auditing a class with Success might not hurt."

"Do you know the biggest thing I've learned in my thirty nine years?"

'Today in school, we learned how to count to one.'

"I'm so tired: Joey was tossing and turning in his sleep the whole night and kept waking me up..."

Be prepared - Don't jump to confusion.

'Remember, Junior, if at first you don't succeed...come up with a good exit strategy.'

Smart people learn from experience - other peoples'.

Did I cheat? You're not wearing a wire, are you?

'It's just that simple. So act now and start barking up the 'right' tree.'

'False alarm! I'm back. It was only a career suicide.'

"Don't think of it as being grounded. Think of it as suffering the consequences of your monumental stupidity."

"What is the battle cry for homeschoolers?" Kids: "Go Home!"

People with anything valuable to say rarely become orators.

"His room is always clean. Do you think we should take him to a psychologist?"

'My parents are trying to wean me off instant gratification.'

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

"I went with the flow and wound up in the French quarter."

"Are you too old to remember all the advice you tried to give me when I was too young to care?"