Life Lesson Seeker Gifts

'So, Freddie, the moral of my story is business ethics are nice, but a successful man knows when to flex.'

Advertising makes you crave things you never knew existed.

"I know you think I'm tough on you now, son. But you'il be much better prepared for life when I disinherit you."

Doctor looks at books under the genre 'Stuff they never taught you in medical school'.

Chad cheats death – and would live on to lead a very stupid life.

Having an open mind is not to be confused with a hole in the head.

'You can't expect everything you need to just come falling from the sky'

Life won't give you lemons, son. In this life, nothing is free."

"Johnny, strikes out, and will be thinking about this well into his thirties."

'When you grow, your salary is your report card.'

Welcome to the highway of tough love.

'Sure, I could grant those three wishes, but I believe you'll appreciate the value of health, love and money much more if you continue not having them.'

A great day starts when you weigh 2lbs. less than you thought you would.

There's no aftershave cologne that smells like success.

Divorce is through love.

"Well, Jackie, when I bloated up and hit middle age my TV career fell apart and I turned to drugs, and I really gave to say drugs were very good to me and gave me a second chance at life -- until handguns came along."

Liquor is legal, not compulsory.

'If experience is the best teacher, why can't I get a student loan?'

"Remember, dogs go woof! Just as long as you can get enough petrol on them."

"What is this telling us? Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic."

"Let me tell you something I learned from life as I've experienced it through the media."

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"I learned one thing today. Attitude trumps aptitude!"

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."