Life Hack Aficionados Pillows

"Ryan, are you giving your vegetables to the Roomba again?"

Reach for the Star.

Weird things I do because of the internet

Check your universal remote control at the door.

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

Fittd shēt

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

"By labeling it, I control it."

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

"I'm so glad we don't need a selfie stick."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'Life if so much simpler since we called Family Ref.'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

Crystal Ball Plug

Seeing the marriage counselor.

"Good grief, Bradbury! How long have you been working at home?"

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

"He downloaded one of those apps that helps you quit smoking."

"After buying his 698th mobile device, his wife had him committed."

The News in Capsule Form.

Garden of Earthly Delights

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

Life is about the chase, not the ball. Now go get it!

"Our Trash Dash order is on its way."

"Well, it's funny, Sid. Every time I've got onr foot in the grave, something interesting happens, so I pull it back out again!"

'Forget the birds and the bees. I downloaded that from the Internet. Tell me about day trading.'

Secrets of Adulthood.