Life Cycle Analyst T-Shirts

'We won't publish your book 'The Life of a mayfly: An Autobiography' because it's only a page long!'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"You are still here."

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'....and that's our CEO. He's trying to find a corporate direction.'

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"I can remember when water was just wet."

"I gave up on finding Mr. Right and settled for Mr. Chocolate!"

"Fourteen months ago, I started with H20. I just ended with H20."

'She said to read between the lines to infer the answer, but it's hard to see in between them because they're so close together.'

Street sign: 'Life gets even more complicated here to corner.'

"I hate her snoring, especially during sex."

'You were a boring accountant in ten previous lives.'

'He can be kind of explosive.'

"You haven't had sex since 1959? You shouldn't complain - it's only ten past eight now..."

"... No, you're not my first husband. But, you're the first one who's ever been married to me."

"I can smell his fear of commitment."

A vicar looks at his in tray and out tray containing a newborn baby and a coffin

"You'll make a good first wife."

'Your resume is great - but I'm always suspicious when a good man is easy to find.'

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

'No, I'm not going to hate myself in the morning. I hate myself now!'

Make love and war

"God, I hate these stuck up coastal elites!"

Stork flies past with baby and notice saying 'baby on board' as hearse drives past with notice saying 'body on board'.

'I don't think I've had the pleasure.'

Old fly...retirement home.

'The best things in life maybe free, but that wasn't one of the best things.'

At times like this Jane was glad there was more than sex to their relationship.

Cycle of Death and Life.

'By this time next year you'll be with someone new. You'll tell her about today and laugh. You'll laugh that snorty little piggy laugh of yours. She'll throw you out too.'