Life After Death Ponderer T-Shirts

'No, I've got plenty of time to talk Brenda. This guy's not going anywhere.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Good game."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"But what if this is all there is?"

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"Only one of my lives was a bowl of cherries."

The meaning of life is to avoid falling rocks

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"Death coach..."

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

"You think it's tough down there?"

"Are you sure I 'can't take it with me'? I brought some for you."

A man in a little rowboat goes to his grave.

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

NOT COVID-RELATED tombstone

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

Dante's Undiscovered Prequels

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

Baxter finally gets a life

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

Angel sees FIRE EXIT sign on trap door in cloud.