Life After Death Ponderer T-Shirts

'No, I've got plenty of time to talk Brenda. This guy's not going anywhere.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Good game."

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"But what if this is all there is?"

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"Only one of my lives was a bowl of cherries."

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"Death coach..."

The meaning of life is to avoid falling rocks

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

"You think it's tough down there?"

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

A man in a little rowboat goes to his grave.

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

NOT COVID-RELATED tombstone

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"Are you sure I 'can't take it with me'? I brought some for you."

Baxter finally gets a life

Angel sees FIRE EXIT sign on trap door in cloud.

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."