Death & Mortality Ponderer T-Shirts

Death with in-trays marked with the stages of grief.

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Good game."

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

'I'd hire you, but the word is going around you guys are practically extinct!'

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

A man in a little rowboat goes to his grave.

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

"You think it's tough down there?"

"Are you sure I 'can't take it with me'? I brought some for you."

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

Dante's Undiscovered Prequels

NOT COVID-RELATED tombstone

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

Angel sees FIRE EXIT sign on trap door in cloud.

"I haven't seen you up here before. When were you uploaded?"

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

Shoptalk

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."

Headstone reading 'Only Sleeping'.