License Hopefuls Gifts

'The penguin is upset...'

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'I need both hands for steering.'

What to do if the kids take away your car.

"Says here underage kids can get a hardship license if they have a legitimate reason to drive a car."

'Can you get out and parallel park for me? I'm not good at it.'

'It's 'any little boy CAN grow up to be President ' -- It's not a REQUIREMENT.'

"Then they revoked his hunting license!"

"Thanks for letting me be your 'getaway driver' lads. My driving instructor says I need all the practice I can get."

Trivia Pursuit

"Don't cry this time, it is off putting."

"So, once again, Mrs Smith, it's grab handle, grip firmly, and pull straight towards you..."

"Gosh, now we could afford to go into farming..."

'Wanna bet they don't have telly licences?'

'I'd like to go to law school, but I guess I'm destined to become a frog.'

"These are the people I hate dealing with...buried in debt unsure about their futures, no hopes or prospects."

'No license? You mean you're an illegal Beagle?'

'Maybe you weren't meant to teach.'

License Plates

"The whole time I served in the US congress, I dreamed of exactly this: being a wealthy lobbyist sitting here with you."

'Stupid paparazzi.'

ANGLING CLUB. FISHING WITH PERMIT ONLY.

New York Lottery Jackpot: Go to the head of any gas line, with police escort.

'Madame, I an clearly see that your cat is a dog. You'll have to pay the $25.'