License Collectors Pillows

"Your parking meter is expired, your license is expired, your plates are expired, your city sticker is expired, your insurance is expired, your library card is expired..."

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

'You shouldn't have.'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

"About your tax refund—would you like to donate it to help pay off the national debt?"

The Boss.

'I need both hands for steering.'

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

"Congratulations J.L., I hear you're getting another 'really' in your title."

"Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing!"

"It's the government, they've spent all our taxes and want to know if we can send them some more."

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

"Brrr - it was so cold today I had my hands in my own pockets instead of someone elses!"

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

A Tax Auditor Prescribes Treatment For A Doctor's Condition

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

Welcome. National Association of People Padding their Resumes with National Associations. And I think you'll agree, our pointless seminars have some really great titles this year!

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

'He calls himself a philanthropist, but would prefer Lord Philanthropist.'

irs, 'You were wrong -- they WEREN'T more afraid of me than I was of them.'

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

"There's the man who ripped my Rolex off my wrist!"

"Oh, no. Death AND taxes."

'Damn, so close!'

Woman to dog: 'This is you, Rex! Now start acting like you're registered!'

"It's about all the treasure laid up here."

Policeman to driver; 'You gotta be kidding. Your name is actually Anna Nicole Smith?'

'This is what I call the ultimate in money laundering.'

Waldo P. Smith, M.D., PH.D, J.D., M.B.A., $$$

IRS Taking Candy From A Baby