Library Mischief-maker Gifts

'Sure it's an impressive collection. Too bad they're all overdue library books.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

"I'm after the history section."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

God creates humans.

Crime

"My jacket blurbs used to have such conviction, he thought to himself wistfully."

A woman in glasses

People, come on, connect the dots...NOT THOSE DOTS!

"It's a note from Eddie's teacher. It seems he's stretched his imagination past the end of her rope."

'Sorry... I should've warned you. In our company, we're encouraged to color outside the lines!'

A trap for Santa

"I think it's time we established new guidelines for corporate behavior."

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

Santa's sleigh up on cinder blocks.

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

Empty 'Abduction' Bookshelf

"Great, I just made my last mortgage payment!"

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"

'It's great to be a ventriloquist. I find that I can still talk in class, but I don't get in trouble.'

Genetic Engineer - 'Can't get the parts mate!'

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

'They'll be talking about that for years!'

',,,'Sidekick' not a psychic'

'We can't find any of of Waldo books.'

"Well, it seems that St. Patrick didn't drive all the snakes out of Ireland."