Library Humor Aficionado Pillows

Construction workers building a library are all saying, 'shhh, shhh' to each other.

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

The Dorrie Decimal System

Catalogue of little books.

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

Monster Self-Help

'Bront?saurus.'

'We know it's good...we had an excellent ghost writer.'

"I'm afraid we're going to have to remove your appendix."

'...and what's more, they're all first editions.'

Well, yes, it's a free library, but...

The Farmer Sutra.

'Ask not for whom the siren wails...it wails for thee.'

Building Books.

Book signing The Art Of Forgery - "Gee thanks, Oprah Winfrey."

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."

Works in Progress

Two books from the crime passionel section in a library having sex

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

'We take late returns very seriously at this library Mr Wilson!'

"Personally, there's nothing I like better than to curl up in bed with a bad woman."

"I agree, but corporate thinks it'll work."

Fiction: Facts Used In Politics

"He's not working to his full voltage."

"The classics can be so intimidating."

"Do you have any immature reading?"

Waiting for Godot, Summer of '96; They Do Not Move.

"It's a book, dear. It doesn't need any batteries."

"It's new reading light."

Little Women in Love in the Time of Cholera

"You pay your late fines or Babar breaks your pinkie."

Hard to Reach Books.

'I don't want to ruin it for you, but the ending is pretty obvious.'