Library Humor Aficionado Gifts

Construction workers building a library are all saying, 'shhh, shhh' to each other.

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

The Dorrie Decimal System

'It's all original research. I had no assistance when I looked it up on Wikipedia.'

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

Catalogue of little books.

Monster Self-Help

'Bront?saurus.'

"I'm afraid we're going to have to remove your appendix."

'We know it's good...we had an excellent ghost writer.'

'...and what's more, they're all first editions.'

Well, yes, it's a free library, but...

The Farmer Sutra.

Book signing The Art Of Forgery - "Gee thanks, Oprah Winfrey."

Building Books.

'Ask not for whom the siren wails...it wails for thee.'

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

Works in Progress

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

Two books from the crime passionel section in a library having sex

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

'We take late returns very seriously at this library Mr Wilson!'

"Personally, there's nothing I like better than to curl up in bed with a bad woman."

"I agree, but corporate thinks it'll work."

Fiction: Facts Used In Politics

"He's not working to his full voltage."

"The classics can be so intimidating."

"Do you have any immature reading?"

"You pay your late fines or Babar breaks your pinkie."

Waiting for Godot, Summer of '96; They Do Not Move.

"It's a book, dear. It doesn't need any batteries."

"It's new reading light."

Little Women in Love in the Time of Cholera

Hard to Reach Books.