Librarian Humorist Pillows

'I don't want to ruin it for you, but the ending is pretty obvious.'

Prison Librarian

Do it yourself books.

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

Smoke and mirrors.

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

'Hard to follow...'

'I wish they'd hurry up and fix the wind tunnel.'

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

'Bront?saurus.'

In trays read: Bluff/Blink.

Happy Bifurcation Day,

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

"Did I miss a lot of work while I was out with the flu? No, I didn't miss it at all!"

Book Worm

Bacterial Cultural Center

'Dude, that big creepy eye is back.'

'We've proven without a doubt, that this particle has a negative charge. Unfortunately, an accelerator in Switzerland has proven, without a doubt, that it has a positive charge.'

DNA Xmas.

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

"What a success! We've sold all our copies. You're a great team! Let's go for beer, pizza and crisps - my treat!"

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

Bacterial Culture

Meet The Ghostwriter

Building Books.

"Whoa, whoa – for all I know you contaminated the sample."

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

"My book is actually about 12th century Etruscan pottery but I thought it might sell better if I aimed it at the children's market."

'I want something by Anais Nin... but not the naughty Anais Nin!'

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'