Lentil Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Since when do lentils do the backstroke?'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

Building Sandcastles.

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

Hamlet in the craft shop.

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

Cello player with pencil instead of bow

Forty-five words per minute? Impossible!

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

Lemon centerpieces: $50 each

'Pretend you don't notice him.'

'Watch your step. I lost my footing on these dang paving stones.'

A series of cameras go through a war zone.

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."

'I've tied a knot to remind you to feed him.'

"He was always loyal and insisted on being buried with his stilts..."

Pencil sharpeners in hell

'Yes, the wood on this pencil is from a renewable source.'

The optician's arrival ended Phil's short sightedness and his 15 year island exile.

"So you feel like you are constantly being followed?"

Planet of the Ants

James Boswell

'We're making progress. Your lips hardly moved at all that time.'

"It always amazes me how extremely simple creatures, with no capacity for communication, can achieve the appearance of joint decision-making."

Man reading on top of giant pencil being carried by others.

'This is going to be good. He's sitting on an ant hill.'

"I'll pencil you in for recess."

Snake Eats the Snake Charmer.