Lentil Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Since when do lentils do the backstroke?'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

Building Sandcastles.

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

Hamlet in the craft shop.

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

Cello player with pencil instead of bow

Forty-five words per minute? Impossible!

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

Lemon centerpieces: $50 each

Lord of the Rings IV.

'Pretend you don't notice him.'

'Watch your step. I lost my footing on these dang paving stones.'

A series of cameras go through a war zone.

Employee of the month.

Pencil sharpeners in hell

'Yes, the wood on this pencil is from a renewable source.'

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."

"He was always loyal and insisted on being buried with his stilts..."

'I've tied a knot to remind you to feed him.'

I grew up vegetarian. Wow. That takes work to stay strong. What motivates you? Hey, lettuce brain! Peer pressure.

The optician's arrival ended Phil's short sightedness and his 15 year island exile.

'We're making progress. Your lips hardly moved at all that time.'

"It always amazes me how extremely simple creatures, with no capacity for communication, can achieve the appearance of joint decision-making."

Planet of the Ants

The Landlord Of The Rings

"Getting a little thin on top and dull below, eh Pop?"

Man reading on top of giant pencil being carried by others.

"I'll pencil you in for recess."

"So you feel like you are constantly being followed?"

James Boswell

'Nine years after the conclusion of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Gollum reveals how he wins Steve Buscemi look-alike contests.'

'Before computers and word processors, we were nerds with slide rules and very sharp pencils!'

'This is going to be good. He's sitting on an ant hill.'