Leisure Strategist Gifts

'You think you need a hobby, eh? - How about a second job?'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

'The grudge match.'

How the goat got square eyes.

"We need to cut costs, so I will show good leadership and will not drink champagne for lunch everyday. I will drink Prosecco instead."

'Hours out here in the freezing cold and not a deer in sight! That's it - I'm going home!'

"If you ask me, a day at the beach is no damn day at the beach."

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

'As you know, your father liked the sport of Boxing...'

There, but for the grace of God, go I.

"Ken does know that isn't real money, right?"

"Remember, a journey of a thousand miles begins with either two squares forward and one to the side, or two squares to the side and one forward."

Intentional Community vs. Community of Sheer Happenstance

"I raised three kids, so you could say I was in risk management."

'We'll only have a five minute window, everything has to be timed to the last second.'

"The boss is on a working vacation and we're on a nonworking vacation."

"I think the cots go in the tent!"

"I schedule all my vacations around work. When the going gets tough, I get going."

"Either you give up all that unhealthy stuff and live another 30 years or you go on as before, have a blast for about 10 or 11 years and then die happy, satisfied and drunken."

'I'm not turning you out. It's just that I'm taking my vacation, as cat naps in half hour increments, over several months.'

Orienteering

The World Will End... After Labor Day

'The perfect week for my vacation. Enough work to insure I'll be missed, but not so much that I'll be overwhelmed in my post-vacation funk.'

"Let's beach ourselves and get a massage."

Born to Potter.

'It's not who you know or what you know that helps you succeed. It's what you know about who you know, that you can hold over their head, that will help you succeed.'

"Things are getting better, but we are not out of the woods yet."

Moving Target

'With a 5-day week, I played some golf. With a 4-day week, I did a little fishing. With a 3-day week I tried skiing. Folks, I don't have enough energy for a 2-day week.'

"Opportunity doesn't knock. Usually it enters quietly, looks around for acknowledgement, and silently departs."

"The key, son, is deciding where to dump the snow. You don’t want to move all this snow twice. Son ... ?"