Legislative Explorer Gifts

'The Opening of Congress'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

European Union: Entering a prohibitive tax zone.

"My farewell gift!"

"I propose legislation to simplify Brexit - the Americans are having a hard time following it."

'A more conservative version of the gun bill would also require a background check for all voters.'

'I know we can't repeal the laws of nature, but I don't see why we can't amend them a little.'

House vs. Senate

"A reconciliation bill? -- I've been in Congress for 37 years, and I've never reconciled anything!"

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'

"Hi guys. I'm Lawyer man, and my power is of attorney."

'Stick a few upper-class tax cuts to it and it'll pass like a bran muffin dipped in vaseline.'

McNHS

Department of Dot Connection

'I've got it! - We'll call it the SUPERpatriot Act!'

'These are the people who'll be line managing you.'

With Jury Duty for All

'Individually we could do nothing. So we formed a committee which determined nothing could be done.'

"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."

'In order for the new Health Care Bill to pass, we'll need to remove the option of Health and Care, and give taxpayers the bill.'

'Your honor, before we get into the issue of black and white, I'd like permission to slip into my grey suit.'

The bureaucrat on his way to work...

"Says here underage kids can get a hardship license if they have a legitimate reason to drive a car."

'Never put off what you can do today, there may be a law against it tomorrow.'

Office worker on phone: 'If you could just email me the faxes of the photocopies of the transcripts of the fifteen phone messages in question, that would probably be the simplest.'

Take A Bite

'I've always been a proponent of winning people's hearts and minds by suing them.'

"Behaviour is the mirror in which everyone shows their image." Johann Walfgang von Goethe. An Antifa person lookign in the mirror with the reflection being a KKK member

'I think we should form a committee to look into this 'individual initiative' thing.'

No politicians take on NRA

ESSA File Cabinets

'It's got to be some kind of scam -- he has all his legislation copyrighted.'

'Three years? But that's aaaaaaaaaages.'

'You need the wisdom of the ages to understand Medicare Part D.'

"But on my claim form, it definitely says Universal credit..!!"