Legislation Analyst Gifts

Why American will never have tougher gun control laws. . .

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

Trial by Media

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

Light Bulb Moment

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"Morning, all!"

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

Lethal Presentation

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Time Is Money

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

'At Tesmer holdings, we don't break the rules! We change them!'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

"Was that my pager or yours?"

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

"Fill me in so I can panic too."