Legislative Aide Pillows

'Both parties shouted 'liar, liar, pants on fire' at the same time. It was a big first step towards bi-partisanship.'

The Filibuster.

'I'll tell you all the reasons we shouldn't reform the filibuster! 1.) It will restrict my ability to frivolously stymie everything...How long do I have to keep talking?'

"Tell you what...let's just reschedule this meeting."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

The Republican's Plan One: No Obama!

'The Republican't Party!'

06 Congressional Record.

Minnesota Legislation working...

Legislative Bills

Political Gridlock.

Lame Duck Session

Congressman's Fortune: You may actually do something someday.

Gerrymandering

The president's men

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

European Union: Entering a prohibitive tax zone.

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

'This 'infrastructure' stuff you keep talking about -- does it have anything to do with vegetables?'

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

'Be right back -- I have to sign some ennobling legislation.'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Worthless B*****ds

'This year there's a bi-partisan effort in Congress to keep things as partisan as possible.'

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

"What kind of politician would I be if I didn't politicize this crisis?"

Beware of the Legislation

"He's only been president a few months. Just give hima little time."