Legal Thriller Fan Gifts

"You lied about conducting cloning experiments in the past. Why should the jury believe you now?"

"You'll need to find another attorney. I'm going to prison."

'Bob, call you back. I've got a major decision that can't wait.'

'They're settling it out of court.'

'I might be able to get you off if a chain of near miraculous rulings happen to occur.'

'Do I remember you, young man? You're about to find out why they call ne Judge Grudge.'

"You slept with my wife. You will pay for this!"

"You know, it would be encouraging if, as my lawyer, you weren't also doing that."

"Your honor, the prosecution's charges are inflammatory, irrelevant and if allowed to stand, will fry my client!"

'I am here, because I killed two people while I was sleepwalking!'

'Not guilty. In fact, we'd like to join his gang.'

Judges think: 'This is really a great job?'

'Your best hope to make money is suing someone.'

27 attorneys. No waiting.

'Promise me that this won't go any further?'

'Don't mess with me,Richards. Even my lawyers have lawyers.'

'I'd better start on your appeal.'

'Who the hell is this?'

'Say, aren't you the judge who presided over the trial where I was found guilty of malpractice?'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"Not guilty?"

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

Mobsters at the Beach

'Way too much information on your resume.'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

"I'll never understand it. I followed the generally accepted principles of embezzling."

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."