Legal Stimulant Aficionado Gifts

Coffee O.D. 101!

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

Next camera crew 5 mins

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

They Are Not Going to Take Me

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

Counsel examining witness

Meds Toast

Trump Indicted

'Your Honor, we find the defendant rich, famous and not guilty.'

Federal Bureau of Bureaucrats: 'Regulation - the mother's milk of politics!'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of multiculturalism.'

Judge

Maintenance & Repairs. No wonder health care is so expensive, they told me to take to tablets every four hours.

'Her husband? No, I'm her lawyer.'

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'