Legal Rebels Gifts

"Although my client was well aware of the falling crime rate, Your Honor, he chose not to be trendy."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

"I can do whatever I want. It's a free country. Well, at least for the time being."

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

The Choice is Obvious

First O.M.G. church.

The New Square Mile Regulator.

'The bottom line: do we wait for the government to approve it as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as a furniture polish?'

You observed me speeding? Are you familiar with the Heisenberg uncertainty principle?

The serious corporation

FDA Ingredients

Workers' Rights

Bertrand Russell

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

No skating, no parking, no loitering, no cycling, no games, no nothing

"I'm just saying you're not allowed to use your phone during class. You're not being de-platformed."

"You know... this would be as good a time as any to rotate the tyres."

Federally Guidelined

Brain versus Religion.

"I blame the regulators for giving predatory pricing a bad name."

'You may be serving Him up there, but don't forget...I'm boss down here.'

"He shows enormous potential."

'I think it's for compliance with some Federal safety regulation.'

Rules and procedure

"I'd like to make a supper reservation for 12 disciples + 1, and could you put us at a table big enough so we can all sit on one side."

"Sometimes I like to browse the men's section just to screw with the patriarchy."

Nine Lives Matter

Rush Limbaugh

I don't care if all your friends are having it done

'How about some beef stew? -- the wusses from the Health Department made us discontinue the chili.'

"But this is the way we've always done it."