Legal Rebels Gifts

"Although my client was well aware of the falling crime rate, Your Honor, he chose not to be trendy."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

"I can do whatever I want. It's a free country. Well, at least for the time being."

The Choice is Obvious

First O.M.G. church.

The New Square Mile Regulator.

'The bottom line: do we wait for the government to approve it as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as a furniture polish?'

You observed me speeding? Are you familiar with the Heisenberg uncertainty principle?

Bertrand Russell

Workers' Rights

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

"I'm just saying you're not allowed to use your phone during class. You're not being de-platformed."

'You may be serving Him up there, but don't forget...I'm boss down here.'

"You know... this would be as good a time as any to rotate the tyres."

"I blame the regulators for giving predatory pricing a bad name."

Federally Guidelined

Brain versus Religion.

"He shows enormous potential."

'I think it's for compliance with some Federal safety regulation.'

Rules and procedure

"Sometimes I like to browse the men's section just to screw with the patriarchy."

"I'd like to make a supper reservation for 12 disciples + 1, and could you put us at a table big enough so we can all sit on one side."

'How about some beef stew? -- the wusses from the Health Department made us discontinue the chili.'

"But this is the way we've always done it."

'Are you sure this is legal?'