Legal Eagles T-Shirts

"I was going to sue the neurosurgeon, but then he changed my mind."

"The ones just out of law school are especially frolicsome."

I am billing, therefore I am.

"Well, sure, it LOOKS like a straightforward plea to buy our product...but for safety we better run it by the legal department

'The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? That doesn't allow for much flexibility.'

'Request permission to approach the bench, Your Honour...'

'Next time keep the Justice Department and the SEC in mind when you're thinking outside the box.'

'Mr. Justice, must you keep repeating 'nobody can fire me, nobody can dire me, nobody can dire me'?'

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

"The court is sorry that it raised it's voice, young man!"

"No, it's still perjury, we don't make exceptions for 'white lies'."

The next few years would be very litigious,

Say it with Flowers: But not without a lawyer present.

Lady being asked to sign the accident book after slipping up in supermarket.

"This is SO romantic. Jerry has the waiter singing our prenup."

'Let me take a stab at him. He's the over-generous judge who awarded my ex-wife all that alimony.'

'OK, I'm back. Here's a notarized hard copy of my offer granting you three wishes, all ready for your lawyer to review. And I don't mind telling you, pal, it's jerks like you who are RUINING this job!'

The Lawyer of Oz

'It appears to be a legitimate restraining order. . .'

'I don't remember when I said to you about that this morning because I didn't know you were listening.'

Call 1-800-JUSTICE for all your legal needs.

"He got this new circle and now he says he's part of some protection racket."

'I guess there's a lack of big trials. Court TV is carrying a tennis match.'

"Megan, will you please prepare our client for cross examination?"

Dog defendant and cat jury - The Rigged Jury

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

'Wait! I'm an attorney and I represent the base runner!'

'Do unto others - but only when you can do it during billable hours.'

"We specialize in pretrial publicity."

"The visual aids budget is a little low."

Shopping Scales

"After this I'll just need you to remove the watermark from your soul."

"The witness will not tweet his testimony."

Trump Foundation Payout

'... Now this releases me from any liability. And this form ...' 'Fred's legal experiences in civilian life interfered with his work in a war zone.'