Legal Eagle With A Plot Twist Pillows

Sue the Author: 1pm-3pm

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"White Collar Prison"

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

'I think its being tapped.'

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

Judge getting hair done.

'Your Honor, permission to abandon the strict, upstanding, fiduciary responsibilities of my profession for a chance at fleeting personal, carnal gratification?'

'Sir, this chicken is improperly dressed!'

"If it please Your Honor, may I redo the bench?"

"I'm your court-appointed attorney, but I'm really an interior decorator."

'I'm afraid I'll have to sentence you to five years, but you have been a beautiful defendant.'

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'

'They were about to reach a verdict until they heard ...'

Lawyer Xing

'Careful. It's the Litigious Kid, and his boys.'

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

"When I'm with you, Miss Lawson, the billable hours just fly by."

Due Diligence Man

"Seriously? You refuse to answer based on the fifteenth amendment?"

"Before I give you this anonymous Valentine's card coudl you just sign this waiver confirming that you won't fall uncontrollably in love with me...or take out a sexual harassment suit!"

Barristers playing children's games during the long vacation

'I was an attorney but that fizzled out. Apparently I couldn't distinguish between legal and illegal.'

Computer Aided Divorce.

delivering lawyers from the Harvard Law School

"Please, just give the boy his pocket money!"

The attorney's Blue-Plate special: Red Snapper, embroiled in a hot legal dispute.

"Your honor, allow me to introduce Fluffy Pants, my support cat."