Legal Eagle With A Funny Bone Gifts

"Who's up for archery waivers?"

'If you don't stay seated, I'll have to use my pop-up blocker.'

Clive Anderson

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"White Collar Prison"

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

'I think its being tapped.'

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

Judge getting hair done.

'Your Honor, permission to abandon the strict, upstanding, fiduciary responsibilities of my profession for a chance at fleeting personal, carnal gratification?'

"I'm not sure...I think the animals have been acting differently since we started feeding them that genetically modified stuff!"

"If it please Your Honor, may I redo the bench?"

'Judge Bush agreed to come out of retirement on a temporary basis.'

'Sir, this chicken is improperly dressed!'

"If things go well here, I'm going to open up my own firm."

"I'm your court-appointed attorney, but I'm really an interior decorator."

'I'm afraid I'll have to sentence you to five years, but you have been a beautiful defendant.'

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'

'... the party of the first part is to give the party of the second part ...'

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

'They were about to reach a verdict until they heard ...'

Lawyer Xing

"When I'm with you, Miss Lawson, the billable hours just fly by."

Due Diligence Man

"Seriously? You refuse to answer based on the fifteenth amendment?"

"Before I give you this anonymous Valentine's card coudl you just sign this waiver confirming that you won't fall uncontrollably in love with me...or take out a sexual harassment suit!"

Barristers playing children's games during the long vacation

'In layman's terms. . . .'

Computer Aided Divorce.

"Your honor, we find the defendant quilty on all counts."

'I need a continuance, your Honor.'

Sue the Author: 1pm-3pm