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Self Defense Skittish

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'...Next election voters will have a choice of democrat, republican and 'generic'.'

"Did Melina Mercouri ever get those marbles back to Greece?"

'Steve says that he doesn't understand why the liberals are so glum! They already have a majority.'

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

'Way too much information on your resume.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

Bigot Spigot

"No offence Jon, but..."

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

"In a surprising turn of events, the end testifies against the means."

Robert Macaire as a Barrister

"May I remind you that our prenuptial agreement called for me to take the plants?"

Abdullah Debate

'I think you have figured out that, with today's overcrowded prisons, pleading insanity will put you back on the streets..."

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

'I will not have the species card played in my courtroom, Counselor.'

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Esq.

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."

"I'M your one call from County Lockup? Ohhhh Lenny."

'It's a shame, he has MASSES of experience.'

"You can scatter my remains at my ex-wife's apartment."

G.O.P. Hatchet Man.

Ethics committee - 'All right - who stole my gavel?'

'We are no longer called criminals! We're called 'Legally Disadvantaged'.'

Theresa May