Leash Trainer Gifts

"We're just trying to maintain the user experience."

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Any questions?"

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

"Don't even think about it."

Hanging off every word...

Quality Control

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

"Try not to think of them just as a 'customer' but rather as your only chance of paying your mortgage and putting food on your plate."

'Actually, she's turned out to be a very clever pet. Watch when Rex stands up, she'll feed him a biscuit.'

'Let's go! Let's go! Hustle! ...Relatively speaking.'

'I hope that training aid doesn't give him the idea that bigger laptops could mean more output.'

"Humans are strange."

'First of all, relax.'

Targets.

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

'I miss the good old days!'

Mentors guide you through the maze.

"My assistant will show you the ropes."