Learning About Santa Pillows

'Father Christmas regrets to inform you that your application for presents has been unsuccessful on this occasion.'

Santa Claus's Mail

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

High security Santa's grotto

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

Wait - If this is a big bag of toys, where's the big bag of dirty laundry? Worst Christmas morning ever.

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

'This year I'm deliverying everything FedEx!'

Santa's Helpers

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

Santa CGI Effect

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

A centipede's Christmas stockings

"I want a pony!"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

'And that,and that,and that...'

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

"For the last time… do not feed bubble gum to the reindeer!"

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

The Reindeer Strike

"Amazon wants to open a facility here due to our friendly labor environment."

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

Pole dancers

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."