Leaf-blowing Jokester Gifts

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

"Do you think the birds like me?"

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Watering the garden gnome

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

Gardener digging and finding pipes.

"Fred's a man for all seasons. The lawn still needs mowing but he's set for leaf blowing."

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

"We could start a band."

'He's not here.He's out on a sting operation.'

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

"So how does New York stack up against Uzbekistan?"

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

Man shouting 'timberrrr!'

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

"It's an amazing snowman darling. I see you've given him Mummys hat, Daddies gloves....and Grandpa's walking stick."

Unfortunately what happens in the cow's digestional tract doesn't stay in the cow's digestional tract!

"That was a stupid place to put the lawn mowings."

Watering garden in the rain

"The new year is an excellent time to celebrate new beginnings by exchanging gifts with those you love."

"And you're sure we don't need planning permission?"

Battle of the leaf-blowers.

'It's just a bit of pond weed tied to my bottom but it makes me feel so much younger!'

"He can't be very good, look at his face."

This had the potential to get really nasty...

'Question number one: Does your wife ask you questions from women's magazines?'

Santa making the most of his sack.

"Should anyone present think Dan’s tree-hugging has gone off the rails, speak now or forever hold your peace."

'Fred, you're not getting taller, just fatter.'

Skunk.'Watch it! He's getting ready to spray'