Leadership Skeptic Gifts

"As a leader, I will always take you forward!"

"I'm not the responsible party. I have people for that."

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

About 40% of the nation's coronavirus deaths could have been prevented...

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

'I have great job security since management doesn't even know I work here.'

Covid-19 Leadership

A note of warning, he doesn't suffer wise men gladly

'Oh, I've already found a natural born leader. Now I'm looking for someone to follow blindly.'

"Well...this meeting is about...ummhh...structure and...ummhhh...preparation. Well...ummhh...at least I think so..."

'Getting the best out of chaps after they've decided to leave requires a bit of planning.'

Another company falls prey to the dreaded 'Top-Heavy Management Syndrome.'

"I don't judge. I know it's lonely at the top."

Leading By Caving In

'I just don't get it. The new motivational posters aren't helping at all!'

'It certainly didn't take Charlie very long after his promotion to grow an impressive set of claws, did it?'

Life on Earth - Why bother?

Person in authority is a blockhead.

"I know I'm the CEO, but I'm really more of an influencer than a decision maker."

"You're wrong! I'm not the worst boss you've ever had. I'm the worst former boss you've ever had."

"Let's go to my sister's house. They have the 'Absolutely No Super Hero Movies Channel.'"

'Well, I'm AGAINST adding a course in business methods to the curriculum....

"Boss, if you could be any superhero, which one would it be?" "Insurance-Adjuster-Man." "In a world where superheroes were real, there'd be an awful lot of collateral damage to buildings and infrastructure." "Insurance-Adjuster-Man would probably clear six figures by breakfast." "'Heroes' aren't in it for the money." "Of course they are. Take Lex Luthor, for instance..."

"Hello, Corporate Ethics Department, how may I help you?"

Puppet director, dummy corporation.

"Psychopath is too strong a word to describe him, but sociopath is too weak a word."

"I'm the greatest CEO with the biggest deals and you know why? Because I have the same felt-tip pens as Donald Trump!"

Panel with Experts to be broken in case of emergency

"I don't know if I have leadership skills. I telecommute."

"My first concern is the well-being of my crew."

'Here. Who's going to believe Nero played bongos while Rome burned?'

"We want someone who can lead in a crisis, but doesn't."

'I'd like to thank you for participating in our new 'colleague empowerment policy'.'