Leadership Challenger Gifts

'You can't do anything right. What you need is confidence.'

"Questions have been raised about our leadership skills!"

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

Great training inspires employees: 'I see myself doing you job before too long...'

Caricature of Noam Chomsky

Fight on the top

'She does great things with leftovers. . .She throws them out.'

"Actually, there is such a thing as a stupid question, and you've just asked it."

'Sorry...I don't do hugs!'

'I reduce my stress with comfort food. Now none of my clothes are comfortable.'

"And now Professor Weyfeld, of Columbia University, with some liberal claptrap."

STRIP *The Fan * Thinking of ditching Coventry City

As soon as the diet ends the lost weight returns.

'I got him for self defense. Boze eats my wife's leftovers.'

"Before I say anything, I'd like to have my friend, who wants to be a lawyer when he grows up, present"

'It's the thin person inside you, screaming to get out - I'm afraid he's not alone.'

Careers Advice

Medieval Patent Office

'It doesn't contain anything that'll help you find a job.'

Boxer with glasses.

"Hal, your 'live for today' philosophy just doesn't cut it at business planning meetings."

"I can't get these new codes straight!"

Dangerous ideas

In and Out Tray

'That's an innovative idea...but we would never consider it. It hasn't been done before.'

'Think for yourself!', 'MAKE me!'

"Well, I'd say you were exactly the type of employee we're looking for!"

Surviving the credit storm.

You cheated on Laurel. With Darlene. What?! You fooled around with Darlene? No. Worse. Much worse. We played Xbox 360. Please tell me that's a filthy term I've never heard of. Hours of video games! I'm a cad!