Leadership Challenger Gifts

'You can't do anything right. What you need is confidence.'

"Questions have been raised about our leadership skills!"

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

Great training inspires employees: 'I see myself doing you job before too long...'

Caricature of Noam Chomsky

Fight on the top

'She does great things with leftovers. . .She throws them out.'

'Sorry...I don't do hugs!'

'I reduce my stress with comfort food. Now none of my clothes are comfortable.'

"And now Professor Weyfeld, of Columbia University, with some liberal claptrap."

"Before I say anything, I'd like to have my friend, who wants to be a lawyer when he grows up, present"

Careers Advice

STRIP *The Fan * Thinking of ditching Coventry City

As soon as the diet ends the lost weight returns.

'I got him for self defense. Boze eats my wife's leftovers.'

'It's the thin person inside you, screaming to get out - I'm afraid he's not alone.'

Medieval Patent Office

'It doesn't contain anything that'll help you find a job.'

"Hal, your 'live for today' philosophy just doesn't cut it at business planning meetings."

Boxer with glasses.

"I can't get these new codes straight!"

Dangerous ideas

In and Out Tray

'That's an innovative idea...but we would never consider it. It hasn't been done before.'

'Think for yourself!', 'MAKE me!'

"Well, I'd say you were exactly the type of employee we're looking for!"

Surviving the credit storm.

'Since I retired as CEO, I haven't won a single game.'

"I'm sorry. I thought I'd cancelled my computer dating membership years ago!"